Forgiveness... What is forgiveness? What does it mean or how do we forgive, ourselves or others? In the internet, forgiveness is defined as, the act of forgiving or the state of being forgiven; Willingness to forgive. But... What does it mean to you?

Many of us often forgive, as often as daily. Might be walking on the busy streets of New York City and someone accidentally bumped on you, you forgive. Maybe a friend offended you either intentionally or unintentionally, you forgive(one of the perks of being friends with the person). Or something as stupid as one of your friends taking/stealing your water bottle, drinking it and leaving you 1/4th of it, especially when you needed it. Usually ends with you saying something like:

You: You're an asshole.
Friend: My bad *laughing*.
You: No... You're fucking asshole for doing that.

Which of course in the end you still forgive your 'stealing water bottle friend.' Also there are those things that are hard to forgive in our life. Whether its in friendships, relationships or within ourselves, especially.

There are those things in life that we wish to be perfect such as relationships. In particular, having a girlfriend or a boyfriend. We wish things to workout perfectly like the ones we see on romantic movies, romantic novels, or the couples we might see on the parks or beaches...maybe holding hands, kissing, or cherishing each other, an awe feeling when seen. But of course, relationships was never perfect nor will it ever be perfect and there are those times where people experiences betrayal that comes with it.

We get hurt, betrayed, left hanging and consumed by our mixed emotions. Sometimes we feel that we are at fault for everything that had gone wrong, blaming others and ourselves especially. Sometimes we just want to be gone, to the point of non-existence, feeling that there is no longer any point of it, that the world works better without you. Sometimes we give up because it seems that every time we try and try, there's no hope. Not even a single light of hope that may shine upon you.

The negativity, hurt, emotions and self blaming is up to you. Whether you let it take control of your life or you take control and look at the positive side of it and its many possibilities. This is where Forgiveness comes into play. All you have to do is accept and understand it.

Forgiving yourself is much harder than forgiving someone else, especially when you're carrying a sense of blame that has happened in the past. A bundle of negativity that shelters deep inside you that causes a never-ending sense of unhappiness. Forgiving yourself is an important act of moving forward and release yourself from the past. Not being able to forgive yourself causes you to be constantly chewed up by fear of your vulnerability, burning with anger with the source of pain and living with the constancy of sadness, hurt, and blame. Forgiveness allows you to release yourself from the past and live the present with a renewed sense of purpose. Focusing on changes, improvements and of course building on experiences instead of being held back from your past hurts.

Accept your emotions and let go of the people's expectations from you. We have no control over what people may do or say. Live life according to your purpose, what you want in life and not live up to someone else's expectations or else you'd be living a life of self-loading living to someone else's expectations. Follow yours instead... Stop punishing yourself and forgiving does not mean you need to forget the past, but to keep in mind what happened and use it as a lesson.

Remember to embrace who you are and love yourself and give yourself permission to heal. Forgiving yourself targets specific things that you feel bad/sad about, not about the person you are. Allow yourself to be free...laugh more and stop taking it all seriously, give yourself some freedom.

And last but not least, self-forgiveness is a gradual process...